Hey gang, Harry HorseCock here, and with only one week left until playoffs, we’re going to answer the question on everyone’s mind? – What’s Up With Wayne?!:

I hope you’re enjoying fantasy football now, because Wayne says it will soon be gone.

I would say “what’s up with the NFL”, but according to Wayne Root, the NFL won’t be around much longer due to the ongoing “kneeling” protests by players across the league. Weird how he endorses forcing people to stand in support of the government’s anthem, yet considers mask mandates to protect public health to be comparable to Nazi Germany. 

I don’t think Wayne has any idea what Nazi Germany was really like.

While I believe Wayne to be a political, literal, scientific, and mathematical genius comparable to George W. Bush and Pat Kennedy, I have to agree with the players kneeling here. The same people that we honor by standing during the anthem also fought and died for the right of any American to choose to kneel during it. America is about freedom; the freedom to speak and pray and live freely; the freedom to donkey punch a Peruvian prostitute and lock her up in a small cage in your basement; the freedom to kneel during the national anthem at a football game to draw attention to an issue you believe in. 

Seriously, who is it hurting (except the Peruvian hookers?) For anyone to call it un-American is as ironic as Wayne bitching about people not uniformly standing up to honor the flag, while calling the same people “Nazis” for issuing mask mandates to protect the public during the pandemic. Protesting an injustice is one of the most American things someone can do, considering America was founded due to the unjust taxation of the American people by England. What was that thing they said, “No taxation without representation” or whatever? 

Have you always wanted to fight Wayne Root but don’t know how? Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that the mentally disabled conservative “author” wants to fight you too as long as you’re a Democratic news anchor or politician. The bad news? Root is in better physical shape than Mike Tyson. 

Wayne Root

But wait, it gets worse. Wayne is also suggesting all proceeds from the fight go to the liberal or conservative charity of the winner’s choosing. But as we all know, “conservative charity” is actually an oxymoron, allowing Root a legal loophole to pocket the funds himself in the highly likely event that he wins. And to really be the bearer of bad news, the potential fight is only expected to draw attendance in the low 30’s (not age range, 30-33 people). As if all that weren’t enough to detour you from a fight with this superhuman mammoth of a man, Democratic politician Manny Pacquiao has already agreed to the fight so long as the people of the Philippines receive 20 “hefty bags” of rice in return, pretty much eliminating any possibility any of you have of landing the fight with Root. But by all means, please still try.

In closing I’d like to bring it back to our original topic, which was of course, euthanasia. Or kneeling for the anthem or whatever. Either way, it’s a matter of life and death, and THE Clay Travis knows this. (To save you the trouble, a quick google search on Clay Travis shows that he is a Mississippi based plumber.) 

To turn a twelve pack into a piss stain for you I’ll just get right to the point here – Clay wants to watch sports, but players kneeling during the anthem are ruining it for not only him, but “most sports fans,” he claims. Because if the anthem isn’t to Clay’s liking, the whole sporting event is ruined. I don’t know about you, but nothing makes my balls itch more than people who watch sports for anything other than the national anthem.

Those 2 minutes before kickoff or tip off or whatever opening game scenario it may be just get my dick harder than railing a line of K cut with Viagra off the ass crack of a Colombian stripper. During those 2 minutes, everything else is meaningless. So yeah, I understand where Clay is coming from. And who could possibly understand where the athletes are coming from? None of them had to grow up in the type of poverty stricken neighborhood that Clay did, where he witnessed how good the police were to the minorities of the community on a daily basis. No, these pro athletes are living lavishly in their million dollar homes and always have been.

Some “far left” athletes playing hoops outside of their affluent childhood neighborhood.

So while Clay, a man of poverty working his ass off, is trying to relax and enjoy some sports, the “far left” athletes have to go and ruin it for him by kneeling during the most important two minutes of the event. How fucking pathetic of the far left Dems to stoop to ruining sports to further their own political agenda and not the republican agenda. This is truly a disgrace. Luckily for Clay and anyone else that feels the same way as him, I have some foolproof advice. Next sporting event you can watch, I don’t care if it’s bowling or racquetball or disc golf or poker, turn it on immediately. Then connect your phone to your speaker, turn it up all the way, open your “most played” playlist, play the national anthem, stand up, and shoot yourself in the head with a shotgun or the easiest attainable firearm. Then you’ll never have to worry about “sports being ruined” for you again.

If you thought sporting events being ruined by coronavirus was bad, you’re probably a leftist commie Nazi, because athletes kneeling during the national anthem is 50 times worse. Actually probably 80 million times worse, but the fucking pathetic Dems won’t accurately report those figures.

Welp, that about does it gang. One week left until the playoffs and five of you jamokes are still fighting for the final two seeds. Five men enter, and only two shall leave (sounds like a Friday night for Vinny’s anus.) But we’ll see who makes it in and who’s going to be left shooting blanks in the mundane randy bracket next week when we analyze the brackets. Ciao for now.