Originally published by Shitty Bill
Marijuana legalization in a few select states has tourists preparing to travel en masse to sample fully legal pot, a truly exciting prospect long overdue in this great nation.
For athletes playing in Washington or Colorado, the assured access to high-grade marijuana has surely been both mentally and physically relieving. Here is a short list of athletes who are most likely high at this very moment.
Peyton Manning [Denver Broncos] – Peyton Manning is a genius. He knew his time was up in Indianapolis and he could pretty much choose his destination. There are two reasons that Manning would willingly choose to play in the shitty conditions Denver has to offer: His love of pretty scenery and his love of marijuana. At this stage of his career, Manning is content with performing under the influence and making the best of the outcome. Bong rips in the mountains keep his mind relaxed on off days.
Javale McGee [Denver Nuggets] – That infamous Wizards locker room gun fight between real-life murderer Javaris Crittenton and Gilbert Arenas started over a weed deal involving Javale McGee. Also, just look at Javale McGee.
Charlie Furbush [Seattle Mariners] – Furbush, a lefty specialist for a miserable franchise, has by far the easiest job in baseball. Furbush smokes high grade MMJ, watches baseball, and gets the surreal experience of pitching high twice a week if he’s lucky. The entire process is almost comical to Furbush, who still can’t understand how he makes $504,000/year.
Furbush [left] is obviously enjoying this more than anyone else.
Pablo Sandoval/Tim Lincecum [San Francisco Giants] – Tim Lincecum is a known pot head, and we can only assume hasn’t been very stingy with his stash; Pablo Sandoval obviously has the munchies.
Tim Lincecum showing Pablo Sandoval some realllll dank bud.
Marshawn Lynch [Seattle Seahawks] – Take one look at Marshawn Lynch and it is easy to see the man is high. It doesn’t matter when or where you see him, his eyes are glazed over and he speaks with the eloquence of the mentally retarded. Being traded from Buffalo to Seattle was undoubtedly the greatest moment of Marshawn’s life. Take a look at this video and try telling me Marshawn didn’t indulge in a pre-game preseason doobie.