Originally published by Shitty Bill

Senior GFFL analyst Shitty Bill takes a look at some meaningful numbers in this week’s column.

15 – The lowest high point man for a GFFL team in week 1.

Beyond the Number:

Shane Vereen pranced all over the Buffalo Bills defense like he was a ballerina, a skill probably taught to him by his gay starting quarterback. Vereen was the high point man for Dirty Randy’s Bullcock, as Jack’s team was the only one whose high point man didn’t have at least 20 points. Jack lost, and Vereen also broke his wrist during the effort. Fuck the Patriots, Bob Kraft, and his dead wife.

3 – The number of owners who started players that got them 0 points.

Beyond the Number:

Pat (Brandon Pettigrew), Vose (Zach Sudfeld), and Ian (Lamar Miller) all dealt with a player putting up a goose egg. All three owners also lost their week 1 matchup. Ian will probably stick with Miller, and Vose has the Gronk plus Jordan Cameron (16 points in week 1) waiting in the wings. Unfortunately for Pat, he has no one. Maybe he could pick up a tight end and drop free agent wide receiver Austin Collie.

28 – The number of characters, including spaces, in the longest GFFL team name.

Beyond the Number:

Geno Smith The Miracle Maker. This is just a random fact, folks.

73 – The number of points Chester beat Brent by in week 1.

Beyond the Number:

Nobody saw it coming. Even after Peyton Manning put up 46 points, whisperings of Chester being the only owner in the entire world losing their matchup with Peyton at QB began to surface. Just one expert, Fu-Dai Dong Longwei, picked Chester to win the matchup, let alone walk away the clubhouse leader for the Aaron Hernandez Award. Chester goes into Turtle Creek this week, still presumably with a chip on his shoulder.

19.6666667 – The average number of points produced by Mike Vick, DeSean Jackson, and LeSean McCoy.

Beyond the Number:

While Chester may have a chip on his shoulder, there is also a Chip running wild in the City of Brotherly Love. The three main focal points of the Eagles offense went off on Monday night football. The 3 GFFL owners who own them, however, lost by an average of 30 points. Also, it makes perfect sense that Pat’s favorite football team would reside in the City of Brotherly Love. Do the math, guys.

Shitty Bill is a senior GFFL writer and analyst