Originally published by Shitty Bill
Senior GFFL analyst Shitty Bill takes a look at some meaningful numbers in this week’s column.
.9 – Percentage of leagues that Kenjon Barner is owned in, including our own after he was selected by Pat Kennedy with the 185th overall pick.
Beyond the Number:
Barner is the least owned player in the NFL that is owned by someone in the GFFL. My Lord, Mr. Kennedy. What balls you have. In an era where fantasy teams are often judged based on how many players are 100% owned, it is refreshing to see a competitor like Kennedy going after the guys he strongly feels will do some damage even if we all know he is completely wrong.
4 – The highest amount of players drafted from one NFL team by one GFFL owner.
Beyond the Number:
Brent Savage drafted 4 Seahawks, while Mike Lomanto miraculously wound up with 4 St. Louis Rams on his roster. For years the NFC West was panned as the worst division in professional sports. While that claim is still not too far off base due to the Rams dragging the rest of the division down, it is clear that there are enough strong, sweaty, untalented black men in Seattle and Saint Louie to fill some holes for two of the game’s best owners.
5+ – The number of seasons league veteran Mike La Porta has donned an ASS-related team name.
Beyond the Number:
La Porta has used the word “Ass” in his team name for longer than the league website allows us to look back. While “Fly Like An Eagle Ass” entered the global lexicon in 2008, it wasn’t until 2009 that “ASS CLOWNS” took both the league and the community at large by storm. Who could ever forget that avatar of a huge black ass with a face painted on it and a party hat sitting gently where the asses torso should be. With names like BIG ASS, HUGE ASS, and SPIDER ASS keeping the rump-related tradition going strong, the unveiling of La Porta’s 2013 moniker is set to, once again, be one of the biggest moments of the fantasy season.
154 – With this pick in the 2013 GFFL draft, the first kicker came off the board.
Beyond the Number:
Contrary to the universally adopted strategy to wait on a kicker until the last round, it was none other than Marco DeLilli that reached for a kicker three rounds early. No surprises here, as DeLilli’s quirky personality and willingness to go against the grain has led to his inclusion in this week’s final number.
7.6 – The highest average number of regular-season losses over the past 5 fantasy football seasons.
Beyond the Number:
DeLilli has been a mainstay in the GFFL, but let’s face it, no one gets too nervous when they see a team like “Goose Balls” or “Thomas Cole” on the schedule. DeLilli is the worst regular-season fantasy owner by .6 games over Alex Vose, another perennial loser who lucked into a championship despite putting together one of his many losing records during the 2008 campaign. Surprisingly, Shaun Anich and a man with little to no formal high school education have enjoyed the most consistent regular-season success, with both averaging just 5.4 losses over the same 5-season span
Shitty Bill is a senior GFFL writer and analyst