Originally published by Shitty Bill
1. Know-gay-no Moreno (Joe)
Joe has had a very steady season and finds himself in first place entering Week 12. Joe, a wily old GFFL veteran, will lull you in with that gentle smile and then steal your lunch money and blame it on his dementia.
2. Turtle Creek Totem Scrotums (Vose)
No one’s balls have shown larger in 2013 than those of a noted perennial loser with balls right in his team name. This squad is led by Marshawn Lynch and Tony Romo, two men combining for four unquestionably large testicles.
3. Krajcir-Watts Talent Agency (Marco)
Two twins have worked in almost robotic synchronistic fashion in tearing through the GFFL competition.
4. J-RoC ft. Slimm SHADYY! (Brent)
After a 151-78 thrashing at the hands of Chester in Week 1, everyone was saying, “put a nail in him, he’s done.” Like Jesus Christ, however, Brent has resurrected his season. Also like Jesus Christ, expect him to go away soon and not come back for a really, really long time.
5. The Dirty Burger (Matt)
Matt sits 1 game clear of the 5-6 logjam. He can attribute that to winning the closest matchup of the season 78 (47) – 78 (46) against Shaun in Week 6.
6. Weeden start The fire (Vinny)
Vinny’s season has been a lot like having sex with a 400-pound woman: satisfying to a degree but the memory isn’t necessarily a keeper.
7. Team lomanto (Chester)
Chester came in with a bang and has since suffered terrible mediocrity.
8. Peace Randy (Jack)
Like a retard operating a power tool, Jack simply hasn’t able to get the hang of fantasy football in 2013.
9. THAT’S THE CAT’S ASS (Mike)
Mike is in the hunt but a 5-6 record through 11 weeks can’t be what Mike had on his mind coming in. Watch out Dottie, these could be a rough couple of weeks ahead.
10. Geno Smith the TurnoverMachine (Ian)
Like a happy baby sitting in a pile of his own shit, Ian should be content with yet another horrible season.
11. The Cellar Dwellers (Shaun)
Like an Ethiopian child receiving money from an anonymous figure in the United States, Shaun’s team had so much hope. Then the money stopped coming.
12. Say No To Drug ..Tests (Pat)
Pat’s season has been the worst thing to ever happen, ever.