The GFFL officially announced their draft details this morning at their annual father-son breakfast.
“Tractor is dead ass gay,” said Mike Anich. “He sucks a wang with the best of them.”
While it wasn’t news that Rock enjoys cock, there were a few surprising details revealed during the event. For the past several weeks, the league has been divided on the issue of draft location.
“All I want to say is that I’m a massive Trump supporter,” said league member Patrick Kennedy, “And I’d rather die than participate in a draft hosted in a liberal fuckhole like Saratoga Springs, NY.”
Other league members shared differing opinions.
“I’d rather do it in Saratoga probably,” said Randy. “Fuck if I know.”
“I’ve never once attended the draft,” shared league out-of-Towner Vinny Mosconi. “Why are you even asking me? Get the fuck out of here.”
For the past four years, the GFFL has hosted their draft at 200 Hillview Road, home of local cat abuser William Close.
“I just installed these brand new ceiling fans,” said Bill, when asked about the event. “I’d really like to put them to use.”
“I don’t give a shit what he does with his cats,” said Mike La Porta. “I like drafting at Bill’s. I got my sheets, I got my e-cig, and I’m taking Mark Ingram in round 2.”
Although the draft location has been the same for several years in a row, the recent change-of-address by league headquarters has prompted swirling rumors about the draft following suit.
“He better not change the fucking draft,” said local farmer and league member Mike Lomanto. “This league is a joke; it’s a complete disgrace, and it all starts at the top with our dictator.” Chester later continued, “if Hitler, Stalin, and Stupid were all in a room and I only had two bullets, id shoot Stupid twice.”
Tension was thick when league commissioner Matt “Stupid” “Pedro” “Hitler” Close took to the stage to announce the details of this years draft. Most in the crowd expected the commissioner to come to a decision that had the best interests of the league in mind.
“I honestly don’t give a fuck about any of you,” said the commissioner. “If I want to have the draft in Saratoga, I’ll have it in Saratoga, because I make the decisions and there’s nothing you can do about it. Luckily I’m going to that party in Gloversville the day before, so whatever, we can have the draft there.”
After Commissioner Stupid was booed off the stage, the event promptly ended.
We’re all looking forward to another shitty season from Marco.